Expectations of Others

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Sorry this is so long… I guess I had a lot of thoughts on this one. 🙂

A couple of months ago God really began to deal with me on my expectations of others. It just seemed that I was expecting people to act a certain way or say and do certain things and every time they didn’t act the way I thought they should I would get upset with them. It wasn’t always people either, it was circumstances that I expected to turn out one way and when they didn’t I would get mad.

I am normally a very positive, happy go lucky person so when people didn’t live up to my expectations or circumstances didn’t go my way I would get sorta depressed and mad and that is NOT me at all.

In the last 1 1/2 yrs. I’ve had to go through some of the toughest times raising my teenagers. I won’t bore you with the details but the choices they have made were not ones I was expecting at ALL. I have raised my children not only to do what is right in the eyes of the law but also in the eyes of God. I have been a woman who walks the walk I talk. I am in no way perfect (none of us are) but when I make a mistake, I admit it, ask for forgiveness, get back up and brush myself off. So when my children have made decisions that goes against EVERYTHING they were taught it does something to a mother’s heart.

But you know what?

Those are their choices to make, learn from and move on…just as I taught them to do by example. When they were younger, yes I put high expectations on them because I believe that quote, “Reach for the moon and if you miss at least you’ll land among the stars” ~ Les Brown. We need to teach our children how to have high expectations so when they are adults they can determine what expectations they will put on themselves.

I am learning (everyday is a process) that the only person I can put an expectation on is ME and (being a Christian) God because he has promised me a lot in his word that I can expect him to follow through on. 😉 In my professional career I am learning not to rely on others so much because I need things to get done and when they don’t I’m stuck. Then frustration sinks in, then anger then it’s just not easy to concentrate. It’s a vicious cycle I tell ya.

You must not expect anything from others. It’s you, of yourself, of whom you must ask a lot. Only from oneself has one the right to ask everything and anything. This way it’s up to you — your own choices — what you get from others remains a present, a gift.~ Albert Schweitzer

 I had to practice what I’ve been learning the other day.

I asked my 17 yr. old daughter if she would clean the house (for some cashola of course) while I was working with a client because I had company coming over that night. I went to work thinking she was cleaning the house and when I walked in the house 2 1/2 hours before everyone was to arrive I found the house is almost the same condition as when I left.  

The kitchen had not been cleaned, the paperwork on the counter was still there and the place had not been dusted.

She did manage to sweep the house and clean her room, but that was it.

I have to be honest, I was ticked!!! I started cleaning the kitchen and wouldn’t even talk to her. I just could not believe she didn’t do what was asked of her, heck I was going to pay her for it and that still didn’t matter to her.

As I entered my room it was like I could hear God gently telling me that I should have expected the house to be cleaned by me and not her.

I should have asked her to do it, told her I would pay her for it but then also came home early enough “just in case” she did not do it. Instantly the anger left me and I realized that once again the only person I can expect anything from is myself and God.

My prayer for you today is you let go of all anger and frustration that has built up over the years from people and circumstances not acting or going the way you expected them to.

That in giving over that anger and frustration God would fill you with a joy unspeakable and peace that goes beyond all understanding.

Y’all Be Blessed,
Audrey 🙂